Accepting...me

I've been reminded a lot recently of the beautiful irony that is accepting your limitations. The idea was first presented through a random Facebook link found during a mindless scroll. One click later, I'm watching an artist describe his passionate pursuit of pointillism art, only to develop serious nerve damage and consequent hand tremors. This, of course, caused a major halt in his art as he was incapable of drawing a dot without it looking like a million tadpoles swimming in a pond instead of the carefully crafted series of dots that make up a masterpiece. During a visit to a physician, he was faced with the question, "Why not embrace the tremor?" He rushed home and did just that. Instead of forcing his hand to do what it could not, he allowed it to shake and tremor all it wanted and began creating the most beautiful swirls and lines that made up the masterpiece he so craved to create.

The second time this idea presented itself was actually during the most surprising medium of a movie called "Mom's Day Out." No, when I popped in the movie I was not thinking of what moral messages I could glean from it, I simply wanted to forget my own troubles for a couple of hours. And forget I did as I became enveloped in the story of a struggling mom, wanting so desperately to "be enough." Through the consequent mishaps and struggles that you would expect to find, yet using twists and turns in the plot that kept you guessing if everyone was going to become felons and/or be hospitalized (You'll have to watch it), I was again presented with the idea that embracing your limitations is a lot less stressful than trying to be what you're not. The main character learned this through a deep conversation with a tattoo artist and a youtube video of a mother eagle (Intrigued? I'm telling you, watch the movie). The eagle wasn't trying to be or do anything other than what it knew to do; be an eagle. And all of the struggling mothers were enraptured to watch it without knowing why. Apparently, the tattoo artist did know because he saw how the eagle felt no need to be perfect, no need to be "enough', the eagle was simply supposed to be an eagle.

Now, as I sit here in an empty apartment that is beautiful but confining, alone (not my favorite), with a week of Lord only knows what ahead of me...I want to see if I can embrace my limitations. 

I am in an empty apartment. Like I said, not my favorite, but it's not forever and if nothing else, it's given me a passion to invite others in when I am normally protective of my space and try to keep others out if I'm "just not feeling up to it." I pray that someday this place is a haven for others in need of a cup of tea and a listening ear, but for right now, I don't have to avoid the empty. Maybe I should talk to myself out loud more, dance (no one should have to see that), and sing. That's what an empty apartment is for, right?

And as for being single, well I'm still figuring out how to embrace that one, but once I do it'll be awesome!

And this week...that'll be a longer journey cause it's one I can't take until each day presents itself. "Manna for today" right? I guess to sum it all up, I'm learning to rest in who I am with all the good, bad, and in between it entails and praying for God's help with it all so that I can be the "me" He created me to be.