Natural Reminders

~ Is this happiness?

This feeling that comes with wind swept hair and view beyond compare?

This freedom to walk in one direction and change it as you wish?

The discovery of new places and victories of accomplishments, is this what happiness feels like?

I have nothing of what happiness seems to be to the masses.

I have no successes to speak of unless hard work and college survival counts.

I have little money to secure anything so is it possible that this feeling inside me is happiness?

I have memories to comfort me and remind me of who I am.

I have stubborn bangs that will not stay put as the wind continues to pass me by.

I have ears that hear foreign words shouted by little children conveying joy and freedom.

I have overwhelming, yet endless possibilities before me for my future.

I have eyes that see through waving treetops to distant mountains that were once less familiar.

I have friends and loved ones in multiple countries over multiple generations.

And inside me,

Inside me I have a lightness that comes from seeing and experiencing creation.

I have knowledge that I am not my own, an identity not weighing me down, but lifting me up.

I have wounds scarred over, and victories given.

I have wisdom bestowed and lessons to yet learn.

So, is this happiness?

Over a year ago my struggle with this word, this feeling began.

Am I closer now to knowing what it is and where it comes from? ~

I wrote this whilst sitting on a random wooden structure atop a Japanese hill. My setting now is a little white IKEA kitchen in the inner suburbs of Minneapolis. The breeze still whips my stubborn bangs, and that mysterious feeling of happiness still lingers. I have less than I did before with which to claim a world's view of happiness. My place of residence is transitory, but with an end date in sight. My bank account is almost alarming. But the wind continues to move through the open window and billow these flouncy curtains and I can't help but smile when I feel that same wind play across my face. 

Nature is my reminder of happiness, and I am so thankful for that. If it were dependent on where I lay my pillow or the size of my bank account I would be one morose person. When nature is my reminder of happiness and my smile inducer, than no matter where I am, whether it be Japanese hilltops with the sounds of foreign languages and children's laughter in the air, or a Minnesotan kitchen window with curtains teased by the breeze, than I am always close to a happiness reminder. It truly is a mysterious joy; a gift from my King and Abba. Life continues to bring times of bitterness that press down until my bones feel ready to break from the weight of it all and tears slip past my well-gaurded features, but there will always be a tree to look at and a smile-inducing breeze.