Well, I've been blessed by home stays, friends willing to run errands, and friends who keep me sane. I've seen sacred dear, roadside alters, and every type of school-uniformed child. I've got enough cute child quotes to last me for awhile. As you can guess from this list, I am wrapping up my life in Japan. Surprised? Me too, a little bit. My original contract was 6 months so I knew I would have to revisit the idea of staying or not. What I didn't expect was the hospital visit leading up to it. My health hasn't always been great, but since coming to Japan it's been challenged in ways it never had before...hence the pneumonia battle. My latest checkup with my doctor was an adventure of translation and somewhat bad news as I found out my pneumonia has caused a couple more problems (not life threatening) that would be easier to sort out in America.
Oddly enough, this news didn't immediately convince me it was time to go home. I was ready for a mental and emotional battle on my knees awaiting God's leading. Maybe I was called to suffer through this. Maybe this was a way God wanted to show His glory. It wasn't until I read treasured notes from home and past journal entries that I realized two things; I miss community and it was time. It was time to wrap up this experience, it was time to be in community, it was time to move into another stage, it was just God's time.
So, once more I am searching for plane tickets, steady jobs, and I'm also searching to keep that assurance of God's will. Once more, God has taught me the vanity of staring the decision in the face as if all my existence depends on the correct answer. Instead He is showing me again to improve my relationship with Him. Strangely enough, it's only when I've done that that the peace and assurance I seek comes and then I can make my decision.
Come April I will be packing up what little I've acquired, figuring out lease agreements and return flight plans, and will experience a reversal of all my experiences since September. Goodbyes will be hard. Home will be different, and some things will have changed so much I will need to get to know them once more. I want to end this blog entry by this very simple writer by saying I don't regret anything I've experienced here. If I took the sickness, the struggles, and the tears out of it then I wouldn't have the full picture. I love and cherish the full picture. So, thanks for the hard times and hospital visits Japan. I didn't get to see a lot of you, but my view of this wonderful country was definitely unique and has left me in love. I'll be back.
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